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I can't remember how we got to it, but the other day in conversation with two dear friends, I asked them the question: "what subjects does your partner know *too* much about now because they're with you?" Because our partners weren't present, we could only speculate, but we flipped the question on ourselves. Because of Josh, Sonja knows about cycling infrastructure in cities and lock differentials on RC cars. Because of Mike, Steph knows about camera equipment and photography and because of Mr. Glass Full, I know a lot about the Marvel Cinematic Universe, professional DJing, space, and all things coffee. We loved the way this question makes you think about what your partner has brought into your life. The many ways your world has expanded because of their special interests and knowledge. But it also goes beyond that. Steph sent me a sweet voice message to say that she asked her love this question in the car and his answers were surprising and really touching. It opened up the space for them to have a really lovely moment of fondness and appreciation between them. When I brought this question to Mr. Glass Full, we had a similarly lovely conversation. I told him that beyond the MCU and how to be a DJ (I'm now permanently wired to look out for sloppy transitions) he's taught me a lot about compassion and empathy, about putting aside ego to have the hard conversations, about doing things with slow and meticulous patience, about living in my authenticity. #VirgoKing He told me I've taught him about astrology, about self-care and spirituality, and how to make a good chai. But he also shared that I’ve shown him that crying isn't weak, that he's allowed to celebrate and choose himself, that it is safe to have boundaries, to ask for what you need. Last week I was on vacation with three of my best friends from high school and our partners who have also formed tight bonds over the past five years. I offered this question at the dinner table and we answered it about one another in three rounds: partners, girls, and guys. My girls and I are used to expressing our love and appreciation for one another in birthday cards, and group chat pep talks, but it felt different to hear and to share these love learnings. We’ve learned from each other how to be a really good friend, that therapy is ok, what it looks like to be truly present with our energy. We’ve learned about how to work a room, how to be more vulnerable, how to march to the beat of our own drums, how to be more thoughtful. What was especially tender, was witnessing what our guys had to share about one another. I can’t count many occasions where I’ve been able to watch as a group of cis/het men shared vulnerably about their love and appreciation for one another, about what they’ve learned and taken from each other. We were left with some watery eyes and full hearts. Even while I was in the moment I could feel that it was really special and not something that we could replicate. The lesson in this is that sometimes we don't realize what we are offering to others by simply being who we are. The essence of our soul's transmission is felt and valued, often without any intention on our part. In fact, I think it’s much easier to be blind to the wonderful things about us; those talents and gifts that come so easily, like second nature. The people that see me and love me recognize these little lights of mine, just like I can see theirs. Here’s a reminder in case you needed it today: Your magic and power comes from your authenticity; being exactly who you are is and always will be enough. I loved this question so much that I've added it to the personalized questionnaire that I send to couples that I’m marrying. My new favourite activity is crying happy tears as I read the responses. And now I offer it to you, Subscriber First Name: what is something that you know a lot about because of someone in your life that you love? Start at the surface and wade deeper. I encourage you to spark this conversation with your loved ones, and I hope you’ll be surprised and delighted by what you hear. As always, please do share with me!
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